A CRAZY Christmas Party with Sam Cheever’s Characters (A Special Holidays with the Authors Post …)

A CRAZY Christmas with Sam Cheever’s Characters
Well I did it again. I invited all the crazy people to my house for a Christmas party last night. No, I’m not talking about my family, this was my annual Christmas shindig for my characters. And it was even more chaotic than last year. I learned my lesson this year though and held the party in my barn, so I wouldn’t have to replace my carpet, couch, and drapes again.
The party was divided into two sections. Not formally, but realistically, since all my romantic suspense characters huddled on one side, casting worried glances towards the paranormal side, where the demons were playing “Pin the Tail on the Gargoyle Without Losing an Arm”. Always a fun party game.
The dragons were relegated to the yard with the harpies for conflagration reasons. Although I had the delicious Duncan Yves (Slow Burner), who as a former fire fighter turned fire investigator, was well prepared to help with any inadvertent flame outs, I figured it made sense to keep the flammable guests out in the snow. Just in case. I’m not stupid and I much prefer to keep my risk taking on a professional level, writing books that stretch my poor readers’ minds almost to the breaking point.
The harpies (Guardian) were outside because they couldn’t be trusted around the other guests. While harpies basically only eat carrion, they’re not averse to making their own snacks to eat later. Besides, they tended to smell like the bottom of a fish barrel on a hot day, which was off-putting to the other guests.
My human shaped guests were safe from the harpies as long as they didn’t get too close to the barn doors. Unfortunately, there was a near miss when Brita Muldane from Honeybun Heat wandered over to observe the antics of the dragons outside, quickly finding herself nose to snout with one of fantasy-land’s most foul creatures. I think Brita got off two shots before I managed to intervene. The harpies were just about to retaliate when the Honeybuns came to the rescue, pulling an assortment of firearms from god knows where to protect the romantic suspense side of the house.
Outside, my paltry exterior Christmas decorations were crushed and lay in smoking piles in the snow covered yard and one section of my pasture fence was ripped away to use as “fencing” jousts. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen two harpies jousting from the backs of a couple of energetic, young black dragons. I still don’t know if the event was spurred by boredom, or in an effort to draw my interior guests to the door so they could be turned into harpy kibble.
Though the activities inside were quieter and…erm…less bloody, they were still exciting. The royal devils (Bedeviled & Beyond) took bets on how long it would take them to lure each Honey from her Honeybun using mind control, which had been expressly forbidden at the party I might add. (I’d tacked a large sign up by the door with the rules: No weapons of any kind, no making toasties out of other partygoers, no mind control, and no retributive lightning bolts.) Luckily the devils had only limited success drawing one Honey slightly away. Though I still insist she was only heading for the crab puffs on the nearby buffet table and not walking into the randy royal’s waiting arms. It’s a good thing that Honeybuns are as addictive as rich, dark chocolate and aren’t easily cast aside.
Regardless, you can imagine the trouble that ensued just from the attempt.
By the time I’d finished cleaning blood and onion dip off the tack room door, Anna Yesterday and the uber sexy Pratt Davies arrived with Anna’s two resident ghosts (Yesterday’s Mysteries). The romantic suspense side was very welcoming to Anna and Pratt, especially when they started talking about the mysteries the duo had been solving in nearby Crocker, Indiana, but they were less sure about the ghosts. Particularly when the incorrigible Bess, an ethereal saloon girl, set her dubious sights on sexy Uncle Brick Honeybun and made inappropriate advances upon his person. Only the pragmatic intervention of the delectable Joss, a ghostly cowboy from 1800s, saved a major uproar from ending the party on a low note.
I’d given up hope that my time traveling witches and sorceri bounty hunters (Apocalyptic) would make it to the party when, an hour before I pulled the plug on the festivities, a hole suddenly opened up in my hayloft and the six of them walked out onto the hay bales, apologizing profusely. They’d been fighting a nest of zombies on a distant planet in the year 2025 and apparently lost track of time. Unfortunately, I barely heard their explanation, I was still reeling from the knowledge that I had a time travel portal in my barn. Who knew?
My neighbors called several times. Once when a beloved dog disappeared. We later found it hiding under a large evergreen with harpy spit on its back. Shudder. That was a close call. And once when the dragons accidently scorched the roof of the neighbor’s garage across the street. One unfortunate neighbor called to ask me what the mountain sized, smoldering pile in his front yard was. I pleaded ignorance. It seemed the best way to ensure future harmony in the neighborhood.
All in all, aside from some scorched timbers in the barn, a ruined pasture fence, and a missing barn cat or two, the evening went fairly well. No serious bloodletting occurred (I later located the barn cats. Cats are not stupid creatures. They took one look at the slavering gargoyles and hightailed it out of there for the night.) and a good time was had by all.
And best of all, once the chaos departed my barn, I was able to return to a relatively unscathed home and drink my celebratory glass of chilled champagne on my uncharred couch. I love my characters. Some of them I actually consider friends. But I would be the first to admit that they can be hard to deal with at times. And when all is said and done, I’m much more comfortable when they’re contained upon the pages of my books, where I can torture them at will and keep them under tight control. hehehe!
Merry Christmas everybody!
hohohoneybun-500He just wants her to take life a little more seriously. She’s decided he could have a point. Especially now that somebody wants her dead.
Dolfe Honeybun broke up with Blaise Runa because her party girl ways were driving him to distraction. Unfortunately, out of sight does NOT mean out of mind. And when his favorite party girl sees something she shouldn’t and finds herself being chased by a cold blooded killer… reason shuts down and Dolfe’s heart takes over. If only he can get to her in time!
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Bedeviled&BahHumbugBased in the Bedeviled & Beyond world, this fun collection of Christmas short stories will put a smile on your face and turn every day into a Hell-i-day!
#1.  Astra Takes out the Grinch: Astra’s been conscripted to deal with a hairy, green demon who’s stealing presents and creating havoc. The Big Guy has grown increasingly tired of the Grinch’s antics and, this Christmas, has called out the big guns.
#2.  Astra gets a Lump of Coal – Thumps an Elf: Astra is forced to spend Christmas in Satan’s backyard, helping the angels figure out how the green dragons are escaping Hell to terrorize the human realm on Earth. But in true Astra form, she figures out much more than that!
#3.  The Year the Grinch Stole Santa: Astra is determined to take Christmas off so she’s been ignoring the nearly constant calls from the North Pole to help them find Santa, who’s disappeared just days before Christmas. But Astra learns the hard way that Santa’s minions will not be ignored!
#4.  An Elvish Catastrophe: Astra and Darma are Christmas shopping at the mall when a pack of ninja elves invade the place and demand the execution of all faux Santas. Talk about little man syndrome…these ninjas have it in spades!
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Author Bio
USA Today Bestselling Author Sam Cheever writes romantic paranormal/fantasy and mystery/suspense, creating stories that celebrate the joy of love in all its forms. Known for writing great characters, snappy dialogue, and unique and exhilarating stories, Sam is the award-winning author of 50+ books and has been writing for over a decade under several noms de plume.
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